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I have been in search of meanings all through out my life. I have explored rational operators to derive truth in experience and enlightenments.

As I experience flux and flurry of experiences beyond conventional, conformal mappings, it is becoming otherwise. Rational systems and methods are breaking down. Rational systems are becoming less and less capable of explaining the scale and scope of life processes, both human and inhuman. Every thought, every emotion, every perception, every figment and filament of memory – all of them point to an absurd arithmetic.

We construct realities and illusions on truth, just as we differentiate and integrate curves and lines through gradients. We experience gradients through relative measures. We never experience absolutes. We never experience absurdities. We never experience arithmetics. We feel absolutes are asymptotes. We feel absurdities are asymptotes. We feel arithmetics are asymptotes.

Yet this arithmetic is truthful. It is a physical experience. It is a materialistic experience. it is an enumerable experience. It helps to quantify and qualify life. It helps us to build resonances and asymptotes. It helps us to build and break correlations, variations and deviations. Every enumerable categories are reflections of the truth operator. Truth exists because we try to deny it. Truth in itself appears infinite for us because we are evolved to deny it. We are evolved to differentiate and integrate it. We can only calculate it. We can see matrices and vectors of truth.

Truth exists because it breaks down our constructed lies. Every lie, every deception, every real logic breaks down in front of an absurd truth. Truth emerges from everywhere as an absolute arithmetic of absurdities

What is truth – it is an absolute, absurd arithmetic for life. Truth is an absolute absurd arithmetic logic designed to create rational and irrational experiences for every life process. It exist between and beyond digital and analog forms of conscious forms and structures.

I can feel that meanings are a kind of emotional experiences. Be it semantic, be it semiotic, they are all derived and constructed emotional experiences upon reception on every human mind. Emotional experiences are subjective. I have no reason to believe that these meanings are fundamental truths. Every meanings are constructed upon heaps. Every meanings are constructed upon meanings. Meanings change context. Then why do we have so much of myths ?

Meaning becomes an illusion. The whole premise of meanings becomes a premise for deception. It is in this flux of meanings that I embrace meaninglessness. At this juncture I feel that absurdities makes more sense than relationships and meanings. Every action and reaction can be connected to a series of absurdities. Every pattern in life, every pattern in nature point to the appearance of a meaning. However, closer you observe, longer you observer, everything drifts. Everything drifts away. Everything points to the denial of a logical causality.  At macroscopic and microscopic scale, the causal connections break down. It is indeed pointing to a ridicule, riddle, randomness etc. God indeed play dice. God indeed is absurd. 
Light is only a carrier. Energy is only a carrier. Life is only a carrier. Energy itself is a derived dice. 

Darkness is the meta narrative. Dark energy and Dark matter are the mighty narratives. Every simulations are the carriers of this absolute absurdity. Reality is a simulated semiotic semantic construct. It is this absurd arithmetic constructed simulation that holds us together. This absurd arithmetic runs through and beyond us. This creates a rational experience for simulated constructs.

It is a constructed experience between birth and death. Age of every entity is the constructed consciousness. Entanglement creates causality. Entangled forms in the energy space interweaves causality in space and time. It is an entirely materialistic process. Exponential and logarithmic causalities are due to the currents and streams of entangelemnt. Entanglement defies conventional frames of reference because it is beyond the dimensions of the simulations. The moment our life processes get disentangled, our experience also gets destroyed. Our experiences and consciousness is due to this entanglement. Hence consciousness is a digital experience at the quantum level. We have enumerable consciousness only because of this enumerable, measurable entanglement. 

This is a primitive and primordial thought. It is indeed a work in progress.

Truthfully Yours

Gokul Alex